Monday, December 29, 2014

This Year

Dear 2014,

First and foremost, 2014, I love you! You have been, undeniably, the best year of my life. Before that there were a lot of favorite years. 2004 when I was skinny, tan, and fell in love for the first time. 2007  when I graduated college and became a bit more grown up. 2008 when I met the love of my life and spent very late nights curled up with him while watching nerdy television.  2009 when I bought a home with that guy, married him, and started a life with him. And then you come in, 2014, and steal the show. Why are you my favorite you might ask. To put it simply, I've had the most fun, learned the most, and grown the most during my relationship with you. You were the year that I became a mom. And nothing (NOTHING) can trump that.

Yes, you were filled with so much goodness (and many challenges as well) and lots of learning. I learned that I have fears I didn't know existed and I learned that my faith was a little less steady than I had once thought. I learned that my body does amazing things even if it didn't "bounce back" right away. I've learned to appreciate it anyway and treat it well. As Zach and I have cut back our budget for me to stay home, I've learned what really matters and what is most important. I've learned the value of gratitude. 

I've learned what marriage really is. This year was the hardest year of my life. I had some life-changing events, some scary events, and some tough days--all while caring for a tiny human that has no way of caring for herself. That meant that our marriage was less like date night every night and more like a game of survivor most days. I learned how to rely and my husband and more importantly I learned how much I could. While it was hard, I learned so much. We are a stronger couple, despite a rough year. 

I learned that babies are the best addition to a home and family.  That there are hard days and rough moments, but our house has been filled with smiles, laughter, and countless kisses. There is a feeling in our home that wasn't there until this year.

I learned that my love has no limits. I started to understand that I was made to be a mother, it is my divine purpose. This year, I've learned who I was meant to be and why I am here. I have also learned what I want to change and how I want to better myself. While I've always looked for ways to improve, this time I really think I know what I need.  It took me finding myself torn apart, but I think I've figured it out.

Honestly, 2014 I am sad to leave you behind. Very sad. As many blessings as the coming years might hold, I met my daughter during my time with you. And I hate to leave you behind. I hate for time to pass from that incredible memory. 

I'm also a little scared to leave you behind. You were my first year of motherhood. I have taken it easy on myself. I haven't beaten myself up over too many things. As we venture into my second year of motherhood, I feel like I have to really get it together and figure some things out. I'm not sure I can call myself a "new mom" forever. 

As we bid farewell I can only hope that I captured enough of my time with you in words and pictures. I sure tried. Thank you so much for everything, 2014. You will never be forgotten. 


**I'm linking up today with Brooke. She and I have had similar years this year--check her out!**

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