Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Help Her Remember

In the LDS church we have a Prophet and 12 apostles. We refer to them as general authorities sometimes. We believe that they communicate with God and witness things that we don't. They communicate those things with us in a number of different ways. Many times we hear them speak. Whether at a temple dedication, general conference, or some other kind of conference or event--they come and speak to us and share their insights. Most of the time, we have access to these talks--in writing and in video--regardless of where the talk took place. 

Though we love all the general authorities, many of us have "favorites." And they're usually the same 3-4 different people. One of my very favorites is one of the "popular ones" Jeffrey R. Holland. (You can find some of my favorite talks: The First and Great Commandment, The Laborers in the Vineyard, We are All Enlisted ) The reason Elder Holland is my favorite is because when he speaks it's more than with conviction. He speaks with an sense of obligation. When he speaks you just know that he has seen and witnessed things, heard, and understands things that many of us don't. He is obligated to tell us--as a Witness--it is his obligation to let us know (Don't believe me, just watch this video) . My testimony is strengthened whenever I hear him because it is so clear that he knows and he must tell. He cannot keep it to himself. 

dog and little girl

When JaiseAnn was born I remember being overhwelmed by her perfection and the intesity of her spirit. She was so good. I could feel it. I remember a few very hormonal crying spurts where I told Zach or my midwives, "I don't deserve her. She's already better than me."

I can't say that I didn't feel underqualified to be her mom when I first met her. What could I possibly have to offer her? She was already better than me and already teaching me--what could I do? Why me?

Lately I've been marveling at all the amazing things about my daughter. (Lately? Actually I always do that!) I marvel at her beauty, at her love, at her intelligence, at her joy, and at her spunk. I love her so much and I am captivated by her amazing spirit.

The other day she got really excited and started running excitedly around the house. She does that sometimes-gets so excited that she can't contain herself. She runs around, then finds a spot and spins, and usually bumps into something, falls, or wears herself out.

While I was watching this I realized that there will come a day when she's not constantly finding joy in every moment. There will come a day when she's not so confident. There will come a day when she's not so spunky--and my heart sunk. I wanted to freeze time in that moment--I wanted to keep her spirit this pure and free.  As my heart sank and I felt tears come to my eyes, I heard this:

"You'll help her remember."

That's my job as JaiseAnn's mother and a very important one. I am the one to help her remember who she is and where she's from. I am the ultimate witness of her goodness. I know she was sent from Heaven and I know she has a spirit--a good one. I have come to understand so many truths because of her and I am here to remind her of those things when the world tries to take them away.

As her mom, I have no other choice than to tell her the truth about who she is. I am her witness. I know things that she might not know. My job and my responsibility is to help her remember. 

Do you see motherhood as the highest calling? How do you interpret the role of motherhood? 

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