Friday, January 8, 2016

Catching Up

This week was rough. I really kind of despise the week between Christmas and New Year's. I feel so confused about what I'm even doing in life. I start questioning everything because everything I've worked hard all year to accomplish seems to come to a standstill in that week.

I have very little motivation. I have very little energy. I have very little discipline. And I just feel out of sorts. While I was sad for the family time (and break from school) to end, I was ready to return to my routine. But this week, the routine just didn't seem to return with the snap of fingers. I went to Zumba for the first time in two weeks (we all took a two week break) and I felt like I was working in slow motion. I was following the motions and doing everything, just more slowly and a little more dazed and confused.

The same went for my regular housework routine. It seemed to take me forever to get the dishes unloaded, or the laundry folded, or my bed made. Everything just seemed so hard. I honestly felt a little like I was on some heavy-duty medication this week or something. It was really frustrating and hard.

Yesterday, though, I felt like I could finally start to see the light. I got cracking on my to-do list--only to feel at the end of the day that I hadn't spend enough time with JaiseAnn. I get anxious when I don't feel that I've been present enough for her during the day. 

Before the holidays I felt like I'd finally found balance. Now I'm off to try to find it again. 

In the meantime I thought I'd share some highlights for life recently with you:

*JaiseAnn is talking up a storm. She is stringing anywhere from 3 to 8 or 9 words together. She seems to have a true desire to make her sentences longer and so she works really hard to add words. She is a super grateful kid-and our hearts are constantly in a puddle on the floor. She's just started saying "Tank To" (thank you) and she recognizes when she needs to say it on her own and it's killer. "Tank to mom for oranges." "Tank to dad for bath." The other night when I was laying down with her to help her fall asleep she said, "Tank to, mom, seep." I about died.

*Zach and I got some extra time together over the holidays as we took a bit of time away from work in the evenings (Zach has been studying for a big certification (two tests and a project) and of course I have my work usually). It was really nice and good for us and it helped me to prioritize what I want in the coming year once school is finished.

*I am planning JaiseAnn's 2nd birthday which is so surreal to me. The amount of change between 1 and 2 is unbelievable when I look back to this time last year. The change in me is unbelievable, too. I am keeping the party simple--just family--and I am really relieved by that. I still have some fun things planned, though, and I hope she'll enjoy them as much as I've enjoyed putting them together.

*Zach was able to work from home this week and that helped (or maybe it actually hindered) our return to real life and the regular routine. (We will have family coming into town next weekend and I'll be preparing for that, so I really feel like I won't have to face the music until we're more than halfway through January--and I'm afraid it might kick  my butt when I finally do.) 

*I'm having a really hard time posting here lately. Time is obviously an issue. I still have over 50 posts in my drafts, but they're not always complete and they don't always have images so they continue to sit. Some are really great and I'm excited to get them on here--when I have the time. That plus I've just been reevaluating my purpose in blogging lately, so bear with me as I try to get a grasp on schedule and purpose. 

What are some highlights from your life recently? Has this week been hard for you, too? 

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